The successful parent
What truly determines if I have “succeeded” as a parent? It is not the things I’ve bought. It is not a ratio of mistakes verses laurels. My success as a parent is not calculated by tallying my childrens accomplishments minus their shortcomings. I think the only measure of the successful parent is love. Love of God, love of self, and love of one another. If my children have love in their hearts, regardless of the circumstances of their life at any given moment, I have succeeded.
My children each have their own life journey ahead of them. Sometimes I have to remind myself that I do not own them. I call them “my” children, but they own themselves. They will make their own mistakes and hopefully learn from them. I cannot prevent that from happening, or insulate them from the full effects of their actions. That is life. My job is to teach them to love, and to sustain the love in their hearts no matter what hardships or blessings life has thrown at them. I have to love them enough to say no when I want to say yes. I have to love them enough to step back and let them answer for their own actions, even when I want to defend them. I have to love them enough to let them be who they want to be, regardless of whom I want them to be. I have to love them enough to let them go, even when I am not ready.
Love
cannot be characterized, or emulated through words alone. Actions of love are the true educators. When my children see me act in loving ways,
it inspires them to do the same. Even
the smallest, simplest acts of love do not go unnoticed by their eyes or their
hearts. In fact, they like to point out
when I fail to act in a loving manner, every chance they get. My pride used to feel bruised on those
occasions, but then I realized that it was a good thing. It meant that they learned what I was trying
to teach them, and now they are teaching me.
I see them act lovingly toward others when they don’t know I’m watching,
and that makes me prouder than any other accomplishment of theirs that I can
think of. It is then that I feel like a
successful parent.
Tara Rodney