Big Picture

The big picture

     The big picture, what does that mean?  To me it means stepping back, and looking outside myself.  It means pulling back enough to see myself as a small pixel in a photograph.  Looking at the pixel alone, the big picture is blurred.  But when I pull back and focus my eyes on more than just that one pixel, a big picture is formed. 

     Each life has a domino effect with one thing leading to another and another and so on, affecting countless other lives in a variety of ways. Lauren’s death taught me a lot about that. So many people had memories of her to share with Terry and me. I remember feeling somewhat awestruck when I saw how large her life was.  She was so much bigger than just what she meant to me.  She had her own little universe, and I was just a part of it, not the other way around.  Her life impacted a whole circle of people, some that I never even knew about until the day of her funeral. I realized that she was a gift to this world, and not just me.  She had her own little bright spot in the big picture, and she still does.

    I tend to want to see things only as they pertain to me.  It’s rare in my hectic life that I find time to notice that a chain reaction has occurred.  When I do notice, I am humbled.  I am reminded how small, yet integral, I am.  My worries seem petty, and sometimes even my grief seems of little account in relation to the big picture.

Tara Rodney

11/25/10