Frogs from heaven

Frogs from heaven

I was crying alone with Lauren’s pictures this morning, missing her so very much, and feeling forsaken.  My heart and soul were just aching to know what she would be doing today if she were here, and what she is doing now.  I cried from the depths of my soul, having to reconcile myself once again to the fact that she is gone.  I found myself wishing that she could just call me sometime, or send me a letter, but alas, death is silent and final.  It is the ultimate separation.  So I wiped my tears and I put the agony out of my mind before it could take hold and drag me down.  This is my reality, and I have to find a way to live with it every day, sometimes every moment.

Not long after I found my peace again, I received a picture of a huge bullfrog from my mom.  It was caught in the pond at the camp.  My heart leapt with joy.  Lauren had sent me a message.  A few minutes later, my cousin Kim sent me a picture of a frog with angel wings that she saw in a gift shop while on vacation.   Kim said that she hesitated to send the picture, but kept being urged to do so, and she listened to her heart.  It wasn’t the letter or phone call from heaven that I had wished for, but it was a reminder from Lauren.

For the next few days, I found myself showered with frogs!  They were like instant messages from Lauren.  My faith had begun to feel like a distant friend, and grief wanted to take hold again.  But my beloved Lauren wouldn’t let that happen.  Frogs were popping up everywhere to remind me of my faith and that Lauren is ok, and I will be too.

Tara Rodney

6/13/11