A place at the table

    I set the table for the Thanksgiving feast this year, carefully counting all of the guests and strategically placing each place setting and chair. I stood back and I thought, the table could not be more lovely. But there was one thing missing....I added Lauren's memory candle, TJ added a picture of her, and then, it was really perfect. As the noon hour rolled around, we all got antsy with anticipation for the delectable feast that awaited us. Once everyone was accounted for and the final meal preparations had been made, it was time to sit down together at the table.

   In the midst of the crunch time, getting all of the dishes heated and the drinks poured and the turkey carved, I forgot to adjust the table, and a place was left open for a guest who did not come.  Once the blessing was said, and the plates were served, and everyone was seated, i noticed the empty spot.  The chair was empty and the place setting sat unused. I thought about removing it, or sitting in it myself to fill the gap on that side of the table, but something told me to leave it there.  And so it remained.

     After the table was cleared and the leftovers were dispersed in to the go plates, we were enjoying each others company.  In a quiet moment, as Terry's mom walked across the den, I saw her stop in her tracks. I watched her face as the tears welled up and flowed out of the corners of her eyes. She stood for just a moment in the center of the den. She exclaimed that she had just felt Lauren's presence. She fanned her hands up towards her face as if she were trying to breathe something in. She cried joyful tears and had a look of amazement on her face. I could tell that she was truly experiencing Lauren's spirit at that moment. I just watched her from the kitchen as the joyful tears began to fall from my eyes as well. Although I was not experiencing what she was, I could see and sense that Lauren was touching her. It was a fleeting moment.... It only lasted for an instant, but it was very profound. I remember Terry's mom turning around in a circle, trying to recapture the sensation that had just passed through her and kept going, but it was gone. She explained that as she opened the hallway door, and walked into the den, Lauren was there, waiting. She said that she sensed Lauren standing there just as if someone alive were standing in the same space. I was so happy for her and for us and for Lauren. It was more than just a reminder that she is truly with us in spirit. She occupies this space with us in a non physical state, and sometimes we are able to sense it in a physical way. 

    At the end of the day, when I finally laid my weary body to rest, my mind was still thinking of the beauty of the day. I was recounting the tastes of the food and the time spent with family. I was feeling so blessed and so accomplished for having created such a special moment in my home for those that I love the most. I was feeling thankful for so many things... And then it dawned on me.... There were no empty spots at our table this year. We had inadvertently left a place for our beautiful Lauren at the table with us!  And with us she was.

     I know in my heart that I would never have set an empty place for her at the table on purpose. I wasn't sure how I felt about looking at her empty chair, or how my guests would perceive such a gesture, but I'm thinking differently now.  It worked out that way for a reason, and once again, I learned so much.  Lauren didn't need a place at the table to join us, but I did. I needed her physical spot to be open to her presence so that I could experience her spirit filling it. It's another lesson for me about the soul and its non physical properties. 

    All this time I've been thinking that Lauren is always with me in spirit, but I haven't always truly believed it or felt it in my heart.   I am learning so much about the soul and its energy that now I can believe it and actually feel it in my heart. Lauren is in a different state of being, and I can accept and embrace that fact now. She experiences life with us in a different way. It's taken me more than four years without her to realize that she never left. 

Tara Rodney

11/29/13

For MiMi Debbie who was touched by an angel right before my eyes...I feel blessed to have shared such a beautiful gift.

 
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Tara