F.R.O.G. Blog

Eyes of Jesus

The eyes of Jesus were upon me….

      I went to church that night, not knowing what to expect, and not expecting what happened. My family and I attended our first healing mass at the Immaculate Conception Church in Washington La.  We had come to the healing mass to see Mac Smith (visionary and healer).  I had heard about some of the physical and spiritual healing's that were taking place there.  I hoped that I could receive some peace about losing my daughter.  I had no idea that I would look into the eyes of Jesus, and that my life would change.  Getting to the church that night had been a long and arduous journey for me.  I had let my anger and my grief cloud my heart, my soul, and my life since my child died.  I felt forsaken by God at first, and then I became very angry with Him. Little did I know that I was going to restore my faith and my love for God.         

     As I waited in line to be prayed on by Mac Smith, I started to tremble from within, and I began to cry.  My husband and I walked up to the altar together.  I still wasn’t sure why I was there.  Unlike most of the people around me, I wasn’t sick.  Even though I had lost my 17 year old daughter Lauren, I knew I was still blessed. What did I need Mac to pray with me about? When I took his hand, the words came to my mind, and my heart.  I found myself gazing into Mac’s eyes.  I was completely mesmerized.  I couldn’t, and didn’t want to look away. I wanted to stay there, lost in his eyes, where I felt the purest love, and acceptance, and forgiveness.   I felt like he knew me from the inside out, and loved me that way too. His eyes were a caramel or coffee milk brown, but not dull.  They were very sparkling, clear, and kind.   He held my hand, and after a few moments (which felt like 10 minutes), he said, “Jesus says come to me”.  I felt my head fall back as I began to sob.  Then Mac asked me why I was there.  I told him that my daughter had died last year, and that I had been mad at Jesus, and that I wanted to ask him back into my heart.  He looked at me and said   ”Then say it, right now.”  I don’t know why the words were so hard for me to say, but finally, I said, “Jesus, please come into my heart.”  Mac put his hand on my heart and told me to close my eyes. As he prayed for me, I felt a gentle nudge pushing me back. I felt myself resist.  I stiffened.  I opened my eyes and looked into his eyes again.  This time his kind eyes stayed the same, but his voice became stern.  He said “Your soul is at stake here!”  I immediately thought to myself, how does he know? I had been going through a tough time spiritually.  Lots of doubts, and I had opened myself to trickery.  How did he know?  Then he said “Let’s try it again.”  He put his hand on my heart and he prayed with me again.  This time at the nudge, I felt myself stumble backwards and clutch my heart.  I opened my eyes and Mac said “Do you have him?”  I said “Yes.”, and I walked back to my seat feeling forgiven, humbled, enlightened, and free.

     On the ride home, I spoke with my mother and Terry about Mac’s eyes.  They both told me that he had the most sparkling blue eyes they had ever seen.  I told them that I saw brown eyes, rich and beautiful, kind and forgiving brown eyes. It turns out that Mac has hazel eyes.  That night, my husband and I looked into his eyes at the same time, and he saw blue, and I saw brown. I was reminded of a picture of Jesus I had hanging in my house.  This picture had been given to me at the same time that the Schoenstatt Shrine came to my home.  I did not immediately hang it, because I felt like it was a little too much Jesus for my decor.  But, a few weeks prior to the mass, I was inspired to hang it across the room from where I like to sit.  I looked at it several times a day, and it began to provide me with company when I felt so alone.  When I got home, I couldn’t wait to see the color of Jesus’s eyes in the picture.  I pulled it down for a better look, and just as I suspected, the eyes in the picture were the same color that I had seen in Mac’s eyes that night.  I guess I needed a physical sign that Jesus is real.  Now I can look at my picture and remember.  As hard as I try, I cannot talk myself out of, or deny what I experienced that night.  It was a true spiritual healing for me.  I felt released from the burdens of guilt that I had put on myself over the years.  I had an incredible confession, and my heart was clear and open that night.  I felt as good as I did when I was an innocent child.  I truly feel that I have a clean slate again and I have Jesus in my heart.  Since that night, I have been inspired to write, and to share my writings.  I have found strength, peace, and grace that I never knew I had.  I have found my gift, with which to glorify God, and to share his love with everyone I can.

T.Rodney  

10/21/10


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