Well, the clouds have lifted. I have peace in my heart again. It started on 12/26/09, when a friend came to visit. She told me tragic news about an acquaintance, and fellow mom of ours.
This mother of three had just been diagnosed with stage 4
cancer in her lungs and lymph nodes. She was told she had about 6 months to
live. She had already begun taking
morphine, and her kids didn't know. All three of her children had different
fathers, so more than likely, they would be split up and sent to different homes.
Slap, in the face..... Here I was, crying away this
Christmas. When I processed my friends situation, I was ashamed. She had to be
so brave to face everything, and still be strong enough to make it a good
Christmas for her children. It's probably her last one with them.
Hearing her story straightened me up. My heart was melted
immediately. There I was crying (again), when I am still so blessed. I still
have a daughter that I can experience all of those mother daughter memories
with. I also have a son, and a husband who loves me. We are all healthy and
have a happy life. I was ashamed for losing sight of that.
The same day, I took down all of the Christmas ornaments off the Christmas tree. I checked several times to make sure I had packed them all up. When Terry and I started taking off the lights, I noticed one ornament that had been left on the tree. I pulled it off, and it was a small ceramic plaque with one word on it. The word was....
BLESSINGS.....
Wow!! Thank you Lauren for my Christmas gift. I
knew I would receive a gift from her for Christmas.
I also received another gift from Lauren on Christmas day. It was a picture of Lauren with a Santa hat on about ten years ago. She was smiling a huge Lauren smile. Terrys uncle had found it on his computer on Christmas morning and sent it to us. At first, I sobbed. Then, it warmed my heart, and I could not stop looking at it. I ended up sending it to quite a few people on Christmas day with the caption.....
Merry Christmas! From our angel.....
Amazing how things can change.
T.Rodney
Journal entry
12/28/09