The example I set is far more important than the words I say. Believe me. I learned this the hard way. I always told Lauren to put on her seatbelt every time she got into a vehicle. But guess who never took the time to buckle herself up? Me. I have always made my children wear their seatbelts, however, until Lauren died, I rarely wore mine. Now I realize that my words meant nothing compared to my example. Children look to their parents, and the operative word there is LOOK. I have learned that my children tend to listen half as much as they look.
What I say is not nearly as important as what I do, and I cannot stress this enough. My words about wearing the seatbelt, or using the phone while driving, mean nothing to my children if it is not important enough for me to follow my own advice. The old adage “Do as I say, not as I do” never holds water with the next generation. In fact, I think that in some cases it may be justification for a child to engage in bad habits once the child reaches the age when they start to make decisions for themselves.
Sometimes, I wish that I had realized the impact of my carelessness when it could have made a difference to Lauren. Although I know that Lauren died when it was her time, I would feel better if I had set a better example. All I can do at this point, is move forward, and try to set a good example for my children, and maybe some other parents too. I wear my seatbelt at all times now, and if I receive a text or a phone call while driving, I ignore it until I stop the car. My children see me pull off the road to read a text if I can’t wait until I get where I am going. They answer my phone calls for me while I am driving.
I write this
today hoping that I can be an example. I
want to tell parents to pay attention to what they do while they are driving
because a future teenage driver is watching them. Take the time to wear your seatbelt, even if
you are just going down the road. Resist
the temptation to even look at your phone while driving. Drive and use the phone like you want them to
do when you are not around. Make sure
that you are strapped in at all times because a driver can become distracted at
any moment by a variety of things, not just the phone. Setting a good example may not save your
child’s life if it is indeed their time to die, but it will make you feel
better as a parent. There are so many
times that I wish Lauren had worn her seatbelt that night, and so many times I
wish that I had set a better example.
Tara Rodney
5/14/11